Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement

Can you believe some people hate themselves so much they want us all to just go away? To become extinct? They probably oppose the loss of any other species but humans are irredeemably evil in their view. Go to only if you can stand the utmost in human idiocy and self-hatred, it sounds like a parody until you read the site itself which seems to be genuinely in favor of people slowing their reproduction until the human race vanishes. I suspect the authors of the site are among those who claim humans are the only species to make war, which only proves some people never go outside. For rodents every second is a challenge to survive with many predators keen to now only 'make war' on them, but to devour the loser in the war. Jungles are evidently peaceful places where the crocs lie down with the gazelles instead of eating them, right? Like most idiocy, I fully support these cretins leading the way, if they don't want to eat meat, they should also respect vegetable rights and simply stop eating. If they think humans need to become extinct - lead by example. Once you're gone we'll carefully consider your position, while we divide up your assets.

Gun or no gun?

I am trying to decide whether to buy a gun. I'm pretty sure I will so the real question is what gun to buy, a handgun and shotgun seem to be a good idea both for home and personal defense. I want a very small 'pocket' gun that is still powerful enough to make a clear impression so I will probably get on a .380 caliber. The choices are two mostly plastic guns, the Kel-Tec P-3AT and the Ruger LCP, or the equally cheap but heavier and more metallic Bersa .380. All of them are small enough to fit into a jeans pocket (front or back) and be invisible in a pocket holster. It's not illegal to carry any of them with a permit but you're not permitted to draw the gun without big provocation and it's a bad idea to even let someone see a clear outline of your gun. I'll probably get the Bersa, it's cheap and has fewer problems reported than the other two, the Ruger was fully recalled for a fix and only the Bersa has a real safety - in fact it has three of them. One on the trigger, a trigger lock, another to keep it from firing unintentionally, and a third to keep it from firing if the clip is removed. You can also easily see if a round is in the chamber, making it about as safe as a handgun can be.

For a shotgun I really don't know, a shorter barrel is preferred for faster maneuvering but I'm not sure that's a big issue and a longer barrel with solid shot gives you better accuracy. I'll probably get whatever is on sale at Cabela's when I decide to buy one, providing it doesn't have negative reviews. I'm buying a couple of books on handguns and I've subscribed to four gun magazines and already I know a bit more lingo. Did you know it's legal to own and fire a fully automatic gun? With the appropriate background checks, tax stamps and approval from local authorities you can but the catch is the gun had to have been made before 1986. Which makes these guns very pricey and valuable but I can't see any need for a gun like that unless you're planning a police stand-off or the Zombie Apocalypse is imminent. And everyone knows shotguns are better at putting down zombies than any machine gun.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

What is up that is new?

Not much. Blogs can be tedious and boring and overly detailed. Like this one. But I refuse to be so boring as to write that I went to the dentist and had a tooth filling redone so I'd look less like some refugee from Deliverance (look it up, I refuse to indulge you). Or that I go to the doctor tomorrow to try some new headache medicine if he's willing. No, I won't bore you with such detail.

Whittney is now a blogger and that's a good thing. Five years ago the word blogging would likely be assumed to be a problem requiring some kind of ointment or bandage but now it's mainstream. Not so much as Facebook yet but more than Twitter.

To anyone who wants to know what is funny on tv, at least to an old man like me, here is a list. I find them occasionally funny enough to laugh out loud, ranked in more or less descending order of humorosity. I search high and low for comedies since laughter is allegedly the best medicine and at least it makes time pass.

1. this last week the winner was Rules of Engagement, give it a try, it made me laugh more than anything else
2. probably Psych which is much less grating now that I've adjusted to the antics of the male lead
3. this is a tie between How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory. Both can be funny but neither is as reliable as the first two, sometimes they just miss my funny bone for 30 minutes straight
4. Monk but mostly the reruns, the new ones are just rarely funny anymore which is very disappointing. The next season is the final and I'm glad of it even though I sometimes like a few minutes of a particular show the rest can be almost painful to watch.
5. The Office. I'm so conflicted, it's sometimes so funny I laugh out loud and scare that cats but most of the time Michael is on the screen I'm cringing with my fingers in my ears as if Obama was giving a speech. I did this with Barney Fife on the Andy Griffith Show, this character is just as bumbling but even more full of himself than good old Barney ever was.
6. The New Adventures of Old Christine and Gary Unmarried, in a dead heat. Any given episode can vault them to first place but they're not as reliably funny. Same with Worst Week, funny premise and hilarious antics but really, the idea that honesty is never the best policy just isn't that funny any longer. If you screw up admit it, come clean and take your lumps, especially when lying or hiding the truth always blows up in your face. It's a lot like co-eds in slasher movies who think to themselves, "Oh my, Ginger and Adam just got axed to death, let's get naked and make out by those trees!" A teenager can be stupid but give me a break.
7. Red Eye on Fox News really really late. Clearly they're embarassed to have this show like CNN was embarassed at having Glenn Beck. But it's usually very funny, some improv over the news and some funny stand-up comics sitting down for a change. Political but not totally one-sided. Very inappropriate sometimes so it's hard to recommend, lots of gay innuendos fly about and nearly anything gets mocked but it's always on my Tivo.

Well, that's it. Do not take my advice, do not watch any of these shows on my say-so. I'm very unreliable and my legal obligations have been satisfied by saying this. I've probably missed my favorite comedy but that's how my mind works, or doesn't work in this case.